Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Underneath That Tough Skin: Chapter Two

A/N: Kay, we wanted to continue this story, despite not having gotten any reviews for it yet. Heh. We just love writing a Tess Tyler centric, because there's no limits to what you can do with Tess Tyler. Oh, right, the WARNINGS. Well, here are ya warnings:

This story is very disturbing. Do not read if you easily throw up at the thought of blood, purging, or anything else. Oops. Sorry. Well, this story also includes some crude language. Read at your discretion. This story also depicts teen runaways, non-Disney related Camp Rock Tess Tyler (e.g, cutting, bulimia, anorexia, etc.), lyrics from Parental Advisory albums (e.g, Fergie, Garbage (explicit), Fall Out Boy albums, Cobra Starship albums, Panic! At The Disco albums, Katy Perry, etc.), Disney lyrics taken out of context, and underage drinking. Parents are advised to read and see if this story is something they will let their child read (and don't say no just because you don't like it, find out if you kid can comprehend these things, not just because you want to protect them, it's better they hear it from us because we'll show the consequences in the end. We have a cool ending planned). We are not liable for any mental scarring this story leaves you with.

Paring warnings: This contains both canon and crack parings and if you don't like the beginning pairings, it's like Texas whether. They'll change.

Chapter Two: I Burned Every Bridge I Ever Built

Here's the thing about Nate and being with him: I always felt inadequate before I met him, but when he found me beautiful, I stopped worrying about my body and focused on his love. Yet at the same time, I was burning bridges with Caitlyn, and I held onto every gift he gave me for dear life, from the gorgeous necklaces you saw me in last year to the tennis shoes. Those were given to me by Nate. As a matter of fact, the razor on the bracelet was from Nate, and people have made the mistake of thinking it was about my album "Bleed Like Me" so I let them think that.

I looked at Caitlyn, then I looked away at the mirror, where I saw a girl bleeding from the arms and no one helping her out, and she was all alone, like how I felt inside right now. I couldn't believe I was burning yet another bridge. As it turns out, Caitlyn is training for nurse stuff or something like that, and Dominique apparently lied about not needing just one job, but two! Then again, she did have a lot of bills to pay...

That's no excuse though! Caitlyn didn't help that much other than delightfully clean up the blood that will never get back into my body. She didn't care. She didn't care about my pain or anything. To her, I was the girl who didn't care about anything but herself. Even though that was patently untrue. I looked over at Nate, and he wasn't paying attention to what Dominique or the nurse was doing, he was talking to Caitlyn!

Again. However, I tried to ignore it as Dominique wrapped the cast-like bandage around my arm and artery just to stop blood-flow. It didn't take long for her to be done. And that was the Open Mic Night, the first jam in Camp Rock.

Let's fast forward, shall we? I walked into vocal lessons, and every eye was on me and my bandages underneath the long, flowing top. I gulped, and looked around. Everyone had their eyes on me. Brown said, "Tess! It's so good to see you. Do you have anything else to share with the camp?"

Nervously, I shook my head. I took a seat far away from the center of attention, my face burning. For the first time, I wanted to hide, I didn't want to be fabulous, I wanted to be... normal again. Wait, when was I ever normal? I could barely go to school now without being swarmed by paparazzi! In fact, the camp still had paparazzi all over the place! And the moment I stepped out of the classroom, I saw a flash go off and someone ask, "So, Ms. Tyler, when the sophomore album going to be finished?"

I knew I was going to record everything here. With help from people I didn't want help from. I walked silently over to the recording cabin they set up just for this, and when I came in, there was Mitchie, Caitlyn, Jasmine (a girl from Hollywood Records), and... mom? Apparently, she's working on the next album with me as well. I went into the recording studio wordlessly and put my headset on. I tested the guitar, and said, "Ready. Are we going to have an intro or something?"

Jasmine said into the mic, "Like, what? A spoken introduction or something like that?"

I nodded, and said, "You know, like where I say something like 'This song is about a certain guy I just can't seem to stop thinking about or shake', or something like that?"

Mom said, "Sort of like a mic check, but different because it appears on the album?"

I said, "Yeah, like that."

Caitlyn rolled her eyes and said, "Noted, diva. Now, what song do you have for us?"

I sighed, and started singing while playing the guitar for this song. It was called "Hot", a song I wrote with the help of Stacey and Elisha.

You're so good to me, baby baby

I wanna lock you in my closet
When no one's around
I wanna put your hand in my pocket
Because you're allowed

I wanna drive you into the corner
And kiss you without a sound
I wanna stay this way forever
I wanna say it loud

You make me so hot, make me wanna drop
You're so ridiculous, I can barely stop
I can hardly breath, you make me wanna scream
You're so fabulous, you're so good to me, baby baby
You're so good to me, baby baby

I can make it all better
Just take it in
And I can show you all the places
You've never been

And I can make you say everything
That you've never said
And I will let you do anything
Again and again

Now that you're in and you can't get out

You make me so hot, make me wanna drop
You're so ridiculous, I can barely stop
I can hardly breath, you make me wanna scream
You're so fabulous, you're so good to me, baby baby
You're so good to me, baby baby

Kiss me gently
Always I know
Hold me, love me
Don't ever let go, yeah

You make me so hot, make me wanna drop
You're so ridiculous, I can barely stop
I can hardly breath, you make me wanna scream
You're so fabulous, you're so good to me

You make me so hot, make me wanna drop
You're so ridiculous, I can barely stop
I can hardly breath, you make me wanna scream
You're so fabulous, you're so good to me, baby baby
You're so good to me, baby baby
You're so good

When I finished three hours later, after several chord adjustments, and a brief yelling at Caitlyn for butchering the beats, we finally produced a track on the album. I was impressed, usually it took us five hours, a brief twenty-five minute break, then another six hours before the track was done right. I smiled, and said, "I guess that's a wrap for now."

I walked out and saw two more flashes. Walking as quickly as I could away from the flashes, I accidentally ran into Jason. Jason dropped whatever it is he was holding, and I dropped my purse. I said, "Oh my God, I'm so sorry, er, Jason, right?"

Jason nodded as he went to go pick up what appeared to be paper. They where apparently songs the band had been working on, and I picked up my purse, not noticing half the contents had spilled out. I said, "Shit."

Then I went to pick up my cell phone, guitar pick, and other random things when Jason asked, "Where did you get your phone?"

I looked at it, it was kind of cool. I smiled, and said, "Gift from Domino. Even though she could barely afford the bills, food, clothing, and other things, she always finds great gifts for us."

It was a Gucci cell phone, and it had taken forever for Dominique to track down. But it was all worth it because it was my gift, said Dominique. We all knew it was because of the massive fit I threw when I found out we might lose the apartment, and possibly kicked out into the street. Jason smiled, and said, "I thought you guys weren't able to get expensive things?"

I looked at him, and I had never before noticed how cute he could look when he's curious, sort of like a child. I said, not noticing my smile on my face, "We aren't. But Dominique pushes herself just so she can afford us. I don't know why, I mean, I would've done this in a heartbeat had I known what was at stake."

That was a lie I didn't need to tell Jason. His eyebrow raised, and it was obvious he knew that I was lying. I blushed, this was so different than talking to Nate, with Nate, the words just come spilling out without him even asking me. Jason said, "I thought they had to get on their knees and beg you to get you to record your own album? I bet you didn't even know how much in debt you were until Domino asked you, no, begged you to record an album in hopes it'll sell so they could afford the bills."

This was true, I never sought after fame, fame came after me. I didn't know how much in debt we were until Dominique told me that unless I made this album, we could not only lose the apartment, but everything that actually meant something to me. I nodded, and said, "Wow. You had me pegged in less than two minutes, fastest anyone's ever found out about my lies."

It was true, I do tend to weave webs of lies, but that was unimportant right now. However, he seemed to know me better than I know myself, like Nate used to know me before he started flirting with Catilyn. Either that or Nate told him all about me. The only other person who was like that with me. I kind of wondered, and Jason nodded, before walking off. Why can't I have a normal life for once?

Of course, I knew everything's different now. Not only do I have an album out, I have to deal with a boyfriend who may or may not cheat on me. After all, what if he likes Caitlyn more? This only caused me to head into the bathroom right after lunch, where I had ate five times the amount of a normal human being - and felt a bit guilty doing so. I turned on the water on all the taps to hide what I was doing, and then vomited everything out in there. I felt like an idiot, but it was to drown out all the gossip, I swear! Nothing more, nothing less. I'm not becoming bulimic again.

Which reminds me, the moment I stepped out of the bathroom, Nate was there with Caitlyn, Mitchie (who, by the way, looked like she cared as much as my sisters did about me, whilst Caitlyn looked like she was there for the kicks), Dominique, and Elisha. I looked at them, and asked, "What?"

Dominique said to me, "Tess. Look, we know. It's obvious you've started cutting again, and you just now threw up again. You're acting like you used to before you got help. What's wrong, Tess?"

I stood there, unable to speak. What's wrong? What's wrong?! I don't know! Ask Nate, who's flirting with Caitlyn! Ask anyone! Wait, don't ask anyone. They'll probably lie to you since that's what they do. The silence from everyone was enough to have Stacey, who came in with her tray, look at me, and say, "Look, I told you guys that ganging up on her isn't going to help anything. E, I thought you knew better than that!"

Elisha simply sniffed and walked off, hissing, "Tess, you better get your priorities straight. Or else you'll end up without a family. And I'm sure you don't want that."

I stood there, in tears for once, and I just dropped the act, running off before my tears could betray me. And that's when it all hit me. I was running away from my family, the people who would throw themselves in front of a bus to protect me. I couldn't believe myself. I hated myself for it. And it was time for a change. But could I really change? I didn't notice where I was before I was running into Jason again.

Jason could tell that I was upset. He didn't say a word, but pulled me into a hug. I appreciated that, but I could tell that it wasn't going to last. After all, I know it all, and he's going to break my heart. However, I couldn't help but fall for him as quick as I did for Nate. I was running into his brother's arms, and I didn't care in the slightest. I felt the tears hit his shirt, and he was comforting me. He whisper in my ear, "I'm not as clueless as everyone thinks. Sure, I have a childish point of view, but I know when someone's hurting."

I felt like I was trying to defend myself from falling for him, breaking my heart yet again. I couldn't let it happen, but I was falling. I was going in over my head yet again. I said, "I don't know why Caitlyn is so mean to me. I know that she thinks that I stole Nate from her, but I couldn't stop myself. I built walls to protect myself, the walls Nate shattered, and then he broke my heart. And Catilyn thinks I play dirty! She makes me look like the Patron Saint of Ethics. I would never kick someone while they're down. And I don't want to fall again. I just want to change, and be the girl where I was never shattered."

Jason whispered, "The walls that you built to protect yourself, they're flimsy. Just like the walls they build to keep you in the limits. There's no limits to what you can do, Tess. You're fighting a losing fight. You can't stop love, and you just try so hard to keep yourself from heartbreak. But to hurt is as human as death. And you've become something so beautifully broken, I'm not certain if you'll ever be able to heal properly."

I knew he was right. I just wish he wasn't so right about what I'm like now.

Underneath That Tough Skin: Prolouge

A/N: We wanted to figure out things underneath Tess's bitchy exterior. Like, maybe she was wronged or something, so we decided to write a story, more emo, more drama, and, well, just jumping straight to the good stuff. So, yeah. We won't be able to update a lot of our stories because we can't read them or send out review replies or even review (soooo sorry if we hadn't reviewed your story, you'll find out why soon) because of the parental blocks on the new laptop that Stacey got for her birthday. It ticked her off to no end, so yeah, overprotective parents. Sorry. Oh, well. Here's our new story! Enjoy!
***

Prologue

A young blond ballet dancer looked like she was close to throwing up. This was me. Back in the past. Me, the incredible, extremely hated Tess Tyler. Yes, I was a sweet little ballet dancer, and everytime I go into this past, I want to cry. I don't see this innocent mind as me. Too young to have to go to the extremes, but it happened, this sweet innocent little girl, only three years old. I want to cry, when I see her go onto the stage and smile, and filled her heart with so much joy and hope when she saw her mother, our mother, TJ Tyler out in the stands.

The little girl performs with pride, and it's obvious she doesn't know the truth. It hurts me when I see that. The sweet little girl again appears, but her face is twisted with heartbreak and looks close to tears. Her, correction, our mother isn't out there once again. After performing with so much conviction and anger, she runs off the stage the moment she can to the bathroom. In the fancy bathroom, we find a curly haired ballerina, also tear streaked, another blond girl the same age as the blond ballet dancer who just ran in.

The new blond girl, however, was looking scared with another brunette girl, both of them built thinly, and pierced ears with dangling jewelry. The brunette, however, obviously was a dancer, in a black leotard with black dance pants and a half-jacket cover-up. The brunette was looking at the young girl. It broke my heart to see her rush into someone else's arms, crying. Her first mistake she will make.

Then the young girl becomes me as she watched the older curly haired ballerina, against her younger sister's wishes, forced vomit out of herself, and looked at the young girl. She said, "You want to know why I just did that, don't you?"

I nod, and she sent the two younger girls away, but not me. She sat down with me, and said, "I know that look. The first time you were abandoned by someone you love. Did your mother or father not show up? My parents didn't again."

I nod, and said, "I don't know who my father is."

The girl looked shocked, and said, "I'm Dominique, but call me Domino if you can't say my full name. My little sisters Elisha and Stacey do. Elisha goes by E. Anyway, I found that purging out the food you eat when your nervous after you feel broken makes you feel better. Do you wanna try?"

Not knowing the addiction that would come out of it, I nodded. Dominique showed me how I could use the back of a toothbrush to force the vomit out, and I was shocked at the feeling and power it gave me. I liked the feeling of being able to get rid of something wasted, and as if the heartache was going away just by doing this.

Later I found out that the first time mom was there was because she was told it was good for publicity. I purged again. Then I got my first guitar, and I started writing my songs, please by the feelings and deepness of it. I was only six when I held my first guitar. I loved it, and it was sparkling, making me feel better, and Domino became my mentor. Elisha and Stacey tried to convince me and Dominique not to do these things.

We became like sisters. One big family to depend on one another. Dominque was four years older then us. She was seven when she started purging. We both quit ballet at the same time, and took up guitar at the same time. Dominque was eleven with her guitar. We both were so close. I was so young, so naive, and often sang about my problems. The first song I ever sang was Cher's "Heart of Stone".

Beneath the white fire of the moon
Love's wings have broken all too soon
We never learn
Hurt together, hurt alone
Don't you sometimes wish your heart was, a heart of stone?

We turn the wheel and break a chain
Put steal to steal and laugh at pain
We're dreamers in castle made of sand
The road to Eden's overgrown
Don't you sometimes wish your heart was made of stone?

Look at the headlines
Big crowds at the crazy house
Long queue for the joker's shoes
Ten rounds in the ring with love
Do you lose and win or win and lose?

Sweet rain like mercy in the night
(Lay me down, wash away the sorrow)
Caress my soul and set it right
(Lay me down, show me your tomorrow)
Summer tears, winter and the moment's flown
Don't you sometimes wish your heart was a heart of stone?

Mercy, mercy wish you heart was a heart of stone?
Get the picture
No room for the innocent
Peak season in lonely town
Knocked out of the ring by love
Are you down and up or up and down?

I ask the river for a sign
(In a dream, we go on together)
How long is love supposed to shine?
(In a dream, diamonds are forever)
But you and I, we hurt together, we hurt alone
Don't you sometimes wish you heart was a heart of stone?
Mercy, mercy wish your heart was a heart of stone?
(With a heart of stone, you'll be well protected)
Don't you sometimes wish your heart was made of stone?
(With a heart of stone, love's not resurrected)
Mercy, mercy wish your heart was a heart of stone?
(With a heart of stone, you'll be well protected)
Don't you sometimes wish your heart was made of stone?
(With a heart of stone, love's not resurrected)

You cry, but I sung it, I felt the words. I was only nine, but I knew it had to mean something powerful. My mother never gave me love, and I didn't know what to do with myself. At age ten, my bags were being packed against my will. I was going to Camp Rock with no friends, and nothing but what I was given, and I grabbed my guitar quickly before someone forgot it. I got in the limo, sadly. No Dominique, no E, no Stacey for three months.

Arriving at Camp with my guitar on my back and my Louis Vittion bags being carried away, tears fell down my face, until I accidental ran into a red head. She gave a shriek of pain, and snarled at me, "Who are you and who let you on MY turf?"

Timidly, I said, "Tess Tyler."

The girl's face suddenly went from angry to apologetic, and she said, "I'm so sorry, Tess! I'm Carson, I'm the authority on the cool people here at Camp Rock. This is my last year however. But I think I already know that I want you to be my replacement. Call me Casey, though."

I was shocked, this girl suddenly wanted to be best friends with me because of my mother? I had slits on my upper arms that weren't noticeable, and slits on my legs! So many people have called me the "Emo Tess Tyler" because of my whole problems! And now this girl wants my friendship? But maybe I could use this to my advantage.

However, the road wasn't all that smooth. I bumped into the Nate Gray, back before he was famous. And that's when some of my scars showed, the unnoticeable ones were the ones he saw. He grabbed me arm and twisted it to show the scars, with an eyebrow raised. I saw my face there, scared, and obviously knowing that my game was exposed. I asked, "Who are you? I'm..."

Before I could finish my sentence, he said, "Tess Tyler. I know who you are. I'm Nate Gray. Why on Earth do you have these slits on your wrists? You have everything, why would you need to cut?"

I gulped and said quietly, "Hardly anyone's noticed them here. I cut because mom isn't here with me, just like always. No Domino, none of my sisters or support, and now I'm having to put up the biggest lie I've ever put up. You wouldn't understand, Nate."

Nate looked at me with care in his eyes. That threw me off even more. The deep care embedded in his eyes was enough to make me tremble. I couldn't stand looking at those eyes. It was amazing, deeper than anything. It sent shivers down my whole body. I knew I wanted him right then and there. Nate said, "I'm pretty certain I can understand. But I won't impose. So, Tess, what other secrets have you been hiding?"

My second biggest mistake was spilling all my precious secrets to him, telling him everything, the lie, taking advantage of Caitlyn just because Carson said to because I had to be tough, writing songs despite that Carson said girls like us don't have to, mom never having been there, my three weeks of ballet dancing, how I learned everything from Dominique, and everything else I was hiding.

Nate was holding me at this point, letting me spill tears all over his tee-shirt. Nate was rubbing my back, and it felt good at that point. After a while, I got my first kiss from him. A soft, chaste kiss, but a kiss nonetheless. After five seconds, the longest five seconds of my life, we pulled apart. I asked, "Why did you that?"

Nate smiled, and said, "You need to know that not all guys are out to take advantage of you. Do you want me to show you that?"

With a nod, and a smile, the tears drying up on my face, I knew I wanted him so bad. Nate smiled, and said, "You're the first girl I've met that actually can give reasons as to why she has to cry. I've never understood why some girls cry without a reason. I think I like you."

He knew it was too early to say the word "love". I didn't even know the meaning of the word. Writing a song about him took me only five minutes. However, that wall came crumbling down when Caitlyn came in, saying, "I met this guy named Nate. He's so sweet. I think I love him. But he wasn't willing to talk to me, for some reason."

My heart broke. Caitlyn obviously had no idea what kind of damaged she just did. I narrowed my eyes, keeping the tears out of my eyes, feeling close to breaking into two, even though I knew I had no right to be jealous of her. But I said angrily, "He's mine. Nate kissed me! He knows everything about me! I talked to him for two hours! He knows me more than you could ever know me!"

This, however, was not what Caitlyn wanted to hear from me. Caitlyn said, "I thought you didn't need anyone to lean onto. I tried to understand you, but you won't let me in. What if your producer just walked out on you?"

I, however, found this was an issue of pride and not an issue of Nate Gray anymore. I snapped, "You can't just walk out on me. Besides, I don't need you right now, at least not anymore."

Caitlyn, however, obviously had a pride issue as well. We were both going to break, but we didn't care at the moment. Caitlyn said, "You know what? I'm going to stay. It's not about Nate, it's about the fact you never let anyone in. But you were more than willing to let some guy you barely know in!"

Caitlyn was angry at me, but she wasn't going to mess me up at the next jam we had. At the jam, Caitlyn found herself helping my song that I had written, and only Nate knew about my songs, but I somehow ended up spilling to Caitlyn that I wrote this song. I don't know why. I just wanted to show Caitlyn that I trusted her.

Grabbing the microphone, I said into it, "This goes out to a very special someone. It's called 'Fly On The Wall', and I'm pretty sure he'll know why it's called that."

I started to sing, and my pure voice obviously captivated everyone.

You don't understand what it is
That makes me tick, but you wish you did
You're always second guess wonderin'
I say yes, but you just lose out everytime

If only you knew what I talked about
When I'm with my friends, just hangin' out
Then you'd have the inside scoop
On what to say, what to do
That way when you play the game
Baby, you can never lose

Don't you wish that you could be a fly on the wall?
A creepy little, sneaky little fly on the wall?
All my precious secrets, yeah, you'd know them all
Don't you wish you that could be a fly on the wall?

You'd love to know the things I do
When I'm with my friends and not with you
You're always second guess, wonderin'
There's other guys I'm flirtin' with
You should know by now

If you were my boyfriend, I'd be true to you
If I make a promise, I'm comin' through
Don't you wish that you could
See me every second of the day
That way you would have no doubt
That baby I would never change

Don't you wish that you could be a fly on the wall?
A creepy little, sneaky little fly on the wall?
All my precious secrets, yeah, you'd know them all
Don't you wish you that could be a fly on the wall?

A little communication
Well, that will go a long way
You're getting misinformation
Too much she say, he say

And what I say is
Come a little closer
And what I'm gonna say is

Don't ya, don't ya
Don't ya, don't ya
Wish you were a?
Hey

Don't you wish that you could be a fly on the wall?
A creepy little, sneaky little fly on the wall?
All my precious secrets, yeah, you'd know them all
Don't you wish that you could be a fly on the wall?

When I finished, I got a huge round of applause. I smiled, and waved. I could've recorded an album already. As a matter of fact, we were in the process of writting songs for my debut album "Bleed Like Me". They promised I wouldn't have to hear it until I was ready.

As Final Jam imposed, I had finished writing a new song for Final Jam. Caitlyn took one look at it, and said, "Don't you think that Carson would notice if you changed from a seemingly okay postion to this? Or could you say someone else wrote it for you, like you usually do?"

I looked at her, and said, "Well, what's wrong with it?"

It was called "Everybody's Fool" and I knew that Carson James wouldn't approve of this song in the least bit. Caitlyn raised an eyebrow at me, and I sighed. I went back to the other song I had written, "One Step At A Time". Caitlyn however, knew this song was about Nate. She glared at me, and said, "If you want me to produce a song written for Nate, the guy you stole from me, I'm outta here."

I looked at her, and said, "Fine. Walk out on me. I don't need you."

It was a lie. I did need her, but my pride refused to tell her that. When she walked out, I grabbed my guitar, and cancelled all the props, and even got rid of the lighting.

I went up on the stage and saw my mom in the panel of judges. Instantly nervous, I looked over at Nate, who was smiling. I gulped, I was trapped here, and then I sat down at the solitary stool placed out for me, with a microphone to amplify the aucostic guitar, and my own microphone. I looked out at the audience, there were too many people.

Carson was waiting for me to hurry up, and I was so scared. I started singing, and this time, nothing was hiding my voice. My mother looked impressed, and I got even more scared, hiding everything away. I got so into the song.
Hurry up and wait, so close yet so far away
Everything that you've ever dreamed of
Close enough for you to taste but you just can't touch

You wanna show the world but no one knows your name yet
Wonder when and where and how you're gonna make it
You know you can if you get the chance
In your face and the door keeps slamming

Now you're feeling more and more frustrated
And you're getting all kind of impatient, waiting
We live and we learn to take

One step at a time there's no need to rush
It's like learning to fly or falling in love
It's gonna happen and it's supposed to happen
That we find reasons why, one step at time

You believe and you doubt
You're confused and got it all figured out
Everything that you've always wished for
Could be yours, should be yours, would be yours if they only knew
Now you're feeling more and more frustrated
And you're getting all kind of impatient, waiting
We live and we learn to take

One step at a time there's no need to rush
It's like learning to fly or falling in love
It's gonna happen and it's supposed to happen
That we find reasons why, one step at a time

When you can't wait any longer
But there's no end in sight
It's the faith that makes you stronger
The only way we get there is one step at a time

Take one step at time there's no need to rush
It's like learning to fly or falling in love
It's gonna happen and it's supposed to happen
That's why we find reasons why, one step at a time

One step at a time there's no need to rush
It's like learning to fly or falling in love
It's gonna happen and it's supposed to happen
That's why we find reasons why, one step at a time

When I ended my song, I hear thunderous applause, but the most shocking performance of all was Carson's. She sung such an annoying pop song, with no soul in it or anything, I just wanted to rip her face off. I felt sick to my stomach, this was the beauty queen I had looked up to? However, when she fell of the stage in shock, I gasped. It was like I had wished for it or something. Carson looked embarassed, and ran off, instead of facing it head on.

Then on came Nate Gray with two other guys, possibly Shane Gray and Jason Gray, the two older Gray brothers. Rumor had it they really didn't like hanging around each other too much, but the way they sang together and performed together, it was like the Gray brothers hadn't been having huge fights that everyone could hear. It was as if Nate knew that I was expecting something huge.

I gulped, and noticed that I most likely wouldn't win with a competion like that. In the end, it was "Connect 3", the generic band name they chose (they probably had a huge fight over it, and decided on something generic instead so there would be no more fighting), and I couldn't believe it. My own mother didn't vote for me! She just gave me this apoligetic smile, and "Connect 3" landed the record deal!

Fast foward to when Mitchie Torres showed up at Camp Rock. I had gotten down the whole hiding my secrets, changed from pure and soulful to just mainstream pop, hardly any of which I wrote myself. I then met Mitchie when she bumped into me. I huffed, and looked at her. I couldn't believe how evil I sounded.

It wasn't until after Camp Rock when I had fucked up that I got back the real me. I confessed everything before camp ended, saying, "Excuse me, excuse me? Could I have everyone's attention?"

Thankfully, everyone gave me their rap attention. I sighed, and said, "It takes... a big person to admit they made a mistake. It takes an even bigger person to admit they're wrong. Well, I must be bigger then both of those, because not only am I admitting I was wrong, I admit I made countless mistakes. My first mistake takes us back when I was a young ballet dancer. Purging away was when I was first shown it, all because mom wasn't there. Fleeing into someone else's arms to cry to was what made me broken.

"And soon, I found ways to shed myself of everything I ever was. Broken, praying, needing, and showing only strength was how I got by. The second biggest mistake was falling into Nate Gray's arms in my first year. The first thing that drove Caitlyn away from me. The other thing was Carson. Casey, the most popular girl at camp, everything I wanted to be and wasn't. At least, so I thought. I didn't know exactly who I wanted to be until I met Mitchie. Mitchie was sweet, kind, naive, never having to show anything else.

"I didn't want her to have everything I wanted. The abilty to show her true colors. I felt like I had to put her down just to pick myself back up off the ground, but I was wrong. I didn't have to. I just chose to. I was still in love with you, Nate, but upon meeting someone else, I fell so hard for him, but I just couldn't show my emotions. It's been five years, Caitlyn. Don't you think we should end this war? A war over someone who wasn't the real reason in the first place? I'm turning sixteen next year. I think it's time we all moved on.

"Mitchie, I wasn't jealous of Shane, as a matter of fact, it was just a front to begin with. But getting so used to the act is part of who I used to be. Seeing you and Peggy preform just shattered the stained glass I was hiding behind. I really hate to admit it, but I was jealous you had everything I could ever want. A mother who's there for you, a father, and friends who actually like you. I know I made you feel three feet tall.

"But I felt smaller than that. You could've broken me down ages ago, but without that knowledge, you didn't. So what else is left? Thanks for your time everyone. I just had to get that off of me chest."

Stepping down from the microphone, I left everyone silent, and Nate looking like I had punched him in the gut. Caitlyn, shocked at seeing me actually admit I was wrong. Mitchie, looking like she had just found out she's pregnant, which she wasn't, by the way, it's just how I would've looked, a mix of shock, happy, sad, and scared. Peggy, looking solemen. Barron and Sander stood there, wondering what alien had replaced me, it was obvious by their face.

Passing each face, a mixture of emotions, but my favorite was my own mother's face. Yes, she had ended up coming around. Shock, displeasure, guilt, anger, happy, and as if someone had told her that her new album tanked, disappointment. Without taking a second look at her face, I threw at her a piece of paper with the words scratched on it "Goodbye". I walked out to find E, Stacey, and Domino, with no emotion showing on their faces.

Dominique, being nineteen, was finally able to take care of us. She let me into the car, and we took off, not knowing what was to come next year. And that's the start of my story. Stick around, it gets better.

A/N: EMO TESS! Believe us, it'll get better. It'll start off explaining Tess Tyler's beautifully broken self. And yes, we know that none of these songs are an original. The first song is "Heart of Stone" by Cher. The second one is "Fly On The Wall" by Miley Cyrus, and the last one is "One Step At A Time" by Jordin Sparks. Not to be confused with the Jonas Brothers' "One Step At A Time". Kay, thanks. Review! We'll try to find a way to review your stories, but it'll be difficult. Heh.

Underneath That Tough Skin: Chapter Two

coming soon!